So What If I Stare?
by Judroozz
Summary: "So? She's your boss and she's way out of your league. You don't have the right to stare at her." / A fluffy one-shot about Addex/Addisex. Some people realize Alex stares at a certain someone and decide to make him do something about it.


**A/N: Yay, another Addex fic!:) Set about a day after the closet-incident. Just read.:P**

~Alex's POV~

I'm the happiest person in the world, seriously, I mean it. It might sound strange and perhaps a bit scary coming from me, but for the first time in years, I'm actually happy. And that's all thanks to her. Wanna know how? Just listen, read, whatever.

~0~

Five interns sat down at a table outside and let out a deep sigh. "Sometimes I really _really _hate this job," Meredith whined, taking a small bite from her sandwich.

"You have no idea," I told her, my eyes instantly finding a certain redheaded attending who was sat a couple of tables away. It was obvious I had quite other reasons to hate this job, but I wouldn't share them with anyone. They wouldn't understand.

Yeah, well, that's what I thought, because apparently, Izzie understood pretty well. Of course Yang didn't _understand_, and still doesn't, but I recently found out she _did_ know, just like Meredith. They probably knew before me, which is kinda scary, because well, that would mean they can actually read me. Dude, three chicks that spend so much time with me that they actually know me, how weird is that? Anyway, I didn't know that at the time, of course, I only found that out later, so, back to the story.

George shrugged. "Everything's better than doing sutures in the pit."

Of course he had to complain about something like that. At that moment, I would've done anything to trade with him, because when the woman you're in love with is mad at you and practically ignores you, you don't really enjoy working with her. It was my fault, I'll admit that, I was an ass in that supply closet, and not a little one. I told her to let me in on her surgeries again, and she did, but she behaved strictly professional and gave no room for anything but cases. She didn't even really _smile_ at me anymore, which _really _disturbed me, because who doesn't want to see her smile? She would talk to me as a doctor, but not as a person, and that _sucked._

"That might be, but Alex here hates the gynie squad, right Alex?" Izzie asked me sweetly. It was that moment that I realized Izzie knew something more than she let on.

I just grumbled something before concentrating on my food, because dude, what was I supposed to say? That I actually loved it? Because that was the truth, still is. At first I hated it, but that was more because _she_ frustrated and forced me, but after a while I started to love working with those little ones and their pregnant moms. And _her._ Of course I couldn't tell them _that_, they would freak out.

I didn't really listen to the rest of the conversation, because I had better things to do. Better is probably not the good word for it, but the conversations aren't very interesting most of the time and _she_ was sitting a couple of tables away being beautiful. So, yeah, I was staring at her, and I did that often, but dude, have you ever _looked _at that woman? She's like… I don't even have words for it. All I know is that, no matter what that Sloan and Shepherd thought, to me she's breathtaking and not just a random chick. She's a _woman_ – and that's quite something in my dictionary, because they're usually just chicks to me – and all I could do at that moment was stare, since I didn't have the right to do anything else because I screwed up. My own fault.

Then, of course, pagers beeped, like always during the lunch break of an intern, and suddenly, I was left alone with Izzie. I like Izzie, I was a jerk to her and all, but I like her and she's my friend and I care. But at that moment, I really _really_ wished she wasn't there, because, dude, she can be _annoying_. Annoying as in, sitting there looking at me with an expectant smile while I had absolutely no idea _why._ Of course I had to ask what was 'wrong', and all she said was that she was just wondering when I would finally admit it.

So, yeah, what do you answer to that?

I just gave her a questioning look, which is basically what most people would do, which of course made her sigh desperately, because apparently, I'm very tiring.

"Alex, seriously, you're _staring_ at her. You've been staring at her for _days_. You usually don't stare at women, no matter how hot they are…" she told me, not continuing as if she was waiting for me to say something.

I simply rolled my eyes, because, yeah, that's just what you do when someone meddles in your personal live. But of course I answered anyway, because she's Izzie.

"So what if I stare?" I asked her. And I knew that just threw her completely off guard, because of course she had been expecting me to deny it, because that's what I do. But then I didn't, unexpected, guess that's what I am too.

She looked surprised for a moment and raised her eyebrows. "Yo-you, you just… you're not denying it, or anything?"

I simply shook my head and concentrated on my food again, because no matter how bad I wanted to stare at her again, I just couldn't really do that when Izzie was looking at me like I'd grown not one but two other heads without feeling guilty or at least uncomfortable.

"So you… like her?" she asked carefully.

I looked up at her and signed. I couldn't just ignore her, now could I? I could just as well explain, because I could really use some advice on how to win her back, because I might not be good for her – or good enough -, but that didn't mean I wanted her any less, still doesn't.

"Look, I was an ass to her okay? I-she… we kissed and then I told her I wasn't interested, I was a jerk. But, yeah, I like her. And I stare, because there's not really much more that I can do," I told her slightly impatient, causing her to raise her eyebrows and smile slightly. _AndIcan'tkeepmyeyesoffher._ Of course I'm not gonna tell her _that._

But apparently, I did because her eyebrows were raised even higher and I could see just a little bit of shock on her face. "You do more than liking her, don't you?" she asked, her expression changing from questioning to a broad smile.

I gave her a small lopsided smile and looked at Addison for a moment, taking her in, _again_. "Oh my god, you're in love!" she exclaimed excitedly, grinning a seriously huge smile.

'You're in love', okay, what are you supposed to say to that? Not that it's not true, but what made her think that? Apparently it was my facial expression…

"What? No, I… wh-how… what makes you think that?" I stammered, still looking at that certain long legged redhead.

I know, a real smooth answer. I guess I was kinda taken aback, and the fact that _she_ was laughing and smiling at something Torres said didn't help either, because she has the kind of smile that lights up a room and that makes you happy for the rest of the day just because you saw it. Okay, so maybe that's not how everybody thinks about it, but I can't help but do because that's just how I see it.

Izzie chuckled and looked pointedly at me. "You look at her like you completely… _adore_ her," she told me, smirking when she noticed I was already looking at her again.

Yeah, that's how fast I got and still get distracted by her, it sucks. Sometimes…

I shrugged. What do you answer to that? _I do_? I did, but should I tell her that? Apparently I thought I should, because I said it out loud, causing her to put that seriously huge smile on her face again and at that moment, I really hated that _she_ was distracting me so much that I couldn't stop blurting things out that should never be blurted out by me.

Unfortunately for Izzie – and luckily for me – her pager beeped and she had to leave. "Shit, I have to go. But, uhm, Alex, just tell her, okay?"

Before I could say anything back she was gone and I was left sitting there with my lunch and my eyes that kept drifting Addison's way, watching as she got up and smiled her goodbye to Torres before walking away in typical Addison manner.

Sighing I focused on my food again, not noticing Torres had walked towards my table until she sat down next to me and cleared her throat.

After I looked up questioningly she sighed and started. "Okay, just to be clear, I'm doing this because Addie's my friend and I want her to be happy, not because of you. Okay, maybe a little, because even though she doesn't even notice it the staring is really creeping me out," she started her ramble, stopping when she saw my confused expression. "Right, it looks like you've got three options," she told me, and I just gave her another confused frown.

What were you supposed to do when the best friend of the woman you're in love with sits down at your table and tells you you have three options?

"Option one, you buy some very dark sunglasses so you can stare at her without everybody noticing it and thinking you're a stalker or whatever. Option two, buy some binoculars and go sit somewhere else where you can stare at her and drool in private. Or option three, my personal favourite, just tell her how you feel and apologize for the incident in the supply closet and then just kiss her until her mouth falls off because I think that'll be the only way to shut her up." She just looked at me for a moment before nodding and leaving me alone.

I'm sure you can imagine that I was a little surprised after that. I mean, I knew that Torres chick was crazy, not just because she married O'Malley, but also because she breaks_ bones_ for a living, but _this_? Yeah, I didn't expect this.

So I dumped the rest of my lunch and walked away, deciding it would be better to follow her advice than just sit there whining to myself about how I can't even stare at _her_ anymore because she left the cafeteria. I'm pathetic, I know.

I found her at a nurse's station and looked – stared – at her for a moment before approaching her. Looking up when I stop in front of her she let's out a small sigh before speaking. "Karev, good that you're here. Could you go and get…"

"I lied," I interrupted her, causing her expression to turn from strictly professional to confused.

"Excuse me?" she asked, frowning slightly.

"Yesterday, I lied. Or well, I don't want to be just another intern sleeping with his attending, but I want _you,_ and I kissed you back because you're you and it meant something, whether you want to ignore or avoid it or not," he spoke, looking into her eyes for a moment before looking at the ground. "And I am, kind of, pining, after you."

Quite a speech, I know. That last thing is not something I would just say to everybody, but since I was being honest, well, why not throw it out, right?

For a moment she looked as she was about to speak, her mouth slightly agape, before she closed it again and grabbed my arm, dragging me towards an on-call room.

I'm not going to describe everything, because that would take way too long, but let's just say there was an almost impenetrable rant which made me follow Torres' advice, I kissed her. It definitely shut her up and lead to a whole lot of other things, very good, fun, hot, things.

~0~

So that was basically the story. The one we will tell our children - except for the last part - when they ask how daddy managed to get a woman like mommy. Is it weird that I'm already thinking about children with her? Probably. Do I mind? Not at all. She's a real woman and real women deserve real things, and I know she wants it, even though it freaks me out a little bit.

Okay, it freaks me out quite a lot, but I'm not gonna screw it up with her just because I'm a little scared. Just looking at her tells me that no matter how scary 'real' is, it's more than worth it with her and she's the only one I want to do it with.

And so I look at her so that I forget my nerves. I actually stare, but hey, I've got that right now. I've got every right to stare at her, talk to her, _kiss_ her. I stare at her as she stands at the nurses' station and studies a chart, I stare at her as she looks up when Torres approaches her and smiles at her, and, I stare when I see her laugh, something that makes me smile in return.

"Dude, you're staring at your boss," an annoyed voice speaks behind me. _Sloan._

I turn around with an annoyed snarl on my face, mad at him for interrupting my staring. "So?"

"So? She's your boss and she's way out of your league. You don't have the right to stare at her."

I chuckle slightly, wondering how he'll react when he finds out. "I have _every_ right to stare at her, at least more than you do."

He looks puzzled but before he can react Addison suddenly looks our way and she smiles, a smile that's meant for me and _only _me. I smile back and walk towards her, not giving Sloan the chance to speak.

"Ready to go?" I ask her as I slowly wrap my arm around her waist.

She smiles at me but shakes her head. "No."

"No?" I ask confused.

She shakes her head again. "No," she repeats, smiling at my confused expression. "I need a kiss first," she explains with a grin.

And that's the moment I know I don't have to be afraid, not for screwing it up and not for having children, because she's sure. She's so sure of us that she wants to kiss me in front of everybody, including Sloan, without caring that there are very gossipy nurses that will have the hospital know within an hour that we're together.

I chuckle and lean in, capturing her lips as I wrap my arms around her waist to pull her closer. I kiss her hungrily, because I haven't kissed her for at least three hours and that already drives me crazy.

That's how we are and what we do, we drive crazy. Each other, our selves, and the people around us. If that's how it's going to be from now on I'll be happy, because that means she's mine and that we can and will act like horny teenagers in love for the rest of our lives.

**A/N: So, yeah, that was it. I wasn't really sure about the ending, but I just really wanted to upload it, so there ya go.:P**

**REVIEW, duh.**


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